Unapologetic

I grew up in church. I know what it’s like to be in church for Sunday school, Sunday morning service, Sunday evening service, Tuesday night prayer, Wednesday choir rehearsal, Friday Bible Study and Saturday mass choir rehearsal. I grew up in the era where women wore chapel caps, had to wear covering on their arms and legs, and earrings no larger than a nickel. Growing up in church you learn how to "church". Those with similar upbringings know exactly what I’m talking about.

The difference for me was my parents weren’t always saved so some of the religion that others grew up with wasn’t as deeply rooted in me. I fell into the grey area of not being churchy enough for the church but too churchy for the world. I wasn’t caught up in black church royalty of who a pastor was or who his family was. I didn’t know who many of them were until I was older and started working with my pastor on his projects. I have strong Christian values, but I didn’t quite conform to the hypocrisies of the church world.

As a teenager, I remember having one boyfriend but somehow, I ended up with a reputation as if I was what we called back then as “fast” or “freak”. I remember friends back then telling me that other adults in the church told their parents that they should keep them away from me. It was hurtful since I was a virgin at the time, but I was being made out to be something that I wasn’t. For many like me, these wrongful vocalized perceptions caused “church hurt”. In turn, this created a hardness and rebellion. I was okay with portraying their perceptions when realistically it contradicted who I was.

Have I made mistakes? Yes. Have I done things that I am not proud of? Yes. Has my journey or destiny shaped me? Yes. Despite my choices, those choices were part of the journey. What was birthed? Purpose! The journey and how different I felt as well as my choices were all for a reason. God didn’t want me restricted and only received by one group of people. He designed me with the ability to connect with the church and the world. Not to be conformed by the world but to bear witness that we are all created with purpose. When you were born purpose was born also. Every achievement and every failure was birthing purpose.

I am no longer ashamed of the person God created me to be. I am okay with being too churchy for the world and too worldly for the church. I’m unapologetically me and have no desire to suppress who I am to manage perceptions or create an alternate identity. Purpose is meant to save someone, to serve someone and there is a problem that only you were purposed to solve. Who is purposed for me to save and serve will receive me. Whether that’s 1 person or 1000, my design allows me to fulfill my purpose.

Awakening is empowering. Empowerment is purposeful. I am pleased to announce unapologetically that destiny and design has equipped me to unlock my purpose.